Mini Freak Out

This is the beginning of my three week vacation from work and I can't help but think about my "home" routine which has been the same ever since I left for college. Being a total bum, getting my mom to cook all my favorite foods, complaining that the house is too cold, and yelling for an extra blanket when I know my parents are already in bed. I've been thinking: when I get married, can I still be a bum when I come home or do I have to help my parents with the cooking and cleaning? Can a married woman still crawl into bed with her parents in the morning? Or stay up late reminiscing with her little brother? More importantly, can I still laugh at fart jokes? Or be the one to start them? Just a thought.

What Happens at Bridal Showers

Now I know why so many girls love wedding planning and being engaged. It's like every day is your birthday! Everyone is constantly congratulating you and wishing you well. There are gifts up the wazoo and lots of champagne and celebrations. I've never had so much fun!

I've been especially spoiled by my bridesmaids. Sara and Tiba recently hosted a bridal shower for me, and they went all out with the decor, food, drinks, and games. Other than the general awkwardness of opening boxes of lingerie in front of Este's mom, the party was a hit and I was laughing the entire time. How much fun can 40 women have on a Saturday afternoon, you ask?

Well, for one thing, the games were insane. My favorite was the Get-the-Chili-Pepper-in-the-Bottle game. You have to admire the coordination and concentration required for this one. My aunt Nazanin (pictured here) was a contender, but Este's mom smashed the competition with her chili pepper skills, getting it in the bottle in less than 60 seconds!

Then there was the Last Chance to Kiss Este game. Newly engaged and blindfolded Tanaz Shahrzad walked up to my guy with confidence and surprised us all (mainly Sara) with her smooching prowess. Yeah...I'm going to keep an eye on that one...

With competitive tensions running high, we were all afraid to see what MC Tiba would ask of us next. Sitting in a circle, we had to pass around a teddy bear and kiss a body part on the bear. Harmless, right? BUT THEN Tiba took away the bear and said we had to kiss the person next to us on the same part we kissed the bear. And this is how it came to be. Full girl-on-girl action between Mrs. Perla and my grandma, who said she'd kiss the bear on the lips! Poor Mrs. Perla didn't know what hit her when my grandma grabbed her by the ears and pulled her into a big smackeroo. It was like a game of spin the bottle that had gone horribly wrong. And when it was over, Mrs. Perla, still dazed from what had just transpired, turned to me and had to kiss my feet! (To be nice, I smelled each one first and gave her the least stinky of the two.)

Before the shower, Este made a special request for me to look after his mom and make sure she has a good time. If only he knew...

Head Trips

When asked, "What does Ava like to do on the weekends?" as part of a survey at my bridal shower, 99% of guests answered: Sleep. I am not embarrassed to admit that this is indeed one of my most cherished hobbies. It's not just the chance to relax and replenish after a hard day's work, it's also a portal to limitless adventure. As you know, I read a lot and because of this, my dreams are quite involved with complex plots and multi-color dreamscapes. Sometimes I even have the ability to control my actions. For example, about a quarter of the way into the dream, I'll realize that the circumstances are too absurd to be real, so I'll go crazy and do things I wouldn't normally do in real life. My favorite was the time I played Quidditch with Harry Potter.

Lately though, instead of my usual action-packed exploits, I've been the victim of several nightmares having to do with the wedding. In one, I am walking down the aisle when I realize that I've forgotten to shower, brush my teeth, wear deordorant, do my hair or makeup. In another, I dream that the Dominican Republic is a total crap hole with glass littered all over the beach and beggars grabbing at your clothes. I also dreamed that we got Este's name wrong on the invitation. I was marrying a "Miguel" instead.

A new theory about the evolutionary function of nightmares is that the brain exposes you to scary scenarios during your sleep, so that the repeated experience desensitizes you, making you better able to handle your fear should it come true. So with images of crackheads and drug dealers fresh in my mind, I boarded the plane to the DR last week, hoping with all my heart that I wouldn't have to test my crisis coping mechanisms.

My parents and I had a wonderful time and were very happy with the resort. We met with the wedding coordinator, florist, DJ, head chef, and hotel manager to talk about how we could make the wedding the best that it could be, and I hope that you like what we have planned. In the interest of not creating too much hype, I am not going to tell you how good the food was or how your glass is never empty, but I will say that the sand was smooth and instead of beggars on the beach, there were topless European women. (If the wedding does not turn out to be all that I dreamed, then at least I'll know Este will be happy.)

Now all I dream about is the delicious feast that awaits America tomorrow night.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! and more importantly, Sweet Dreams!

And the winner is...

Thanks to everyone who RSVP'd on time! As promised, three lucky guests will receive a copy of the Fodor's Guide to the Dominican Republic. Drum roll please...

The first name out of the drawing is -- Justin KWONG! Come on up Justin!

Second is the lovely Foroughi Family.

And last but not least are the newlyweds, Kat and Hossein Golesorkhi, who will be spending their honeymoon in the DR with us. Let's have a nice round of applause for our winners and future tour guides!

Now on to more serious matters. I saw a very disturbing video on YouTube regarding airport security cameras. I want to post it here to give you fair warning. Stay away from beans before your flight!

Répondez, S'il Vous Plaît

Getting the invitations out in a timely manner was probably one of the more stressful aspects of wedding planning, but every anxious moment was worth it, because nothing is better than receiving the RSVP card. Every time I check the mailbox, there is a stack of little surprises waiting for me. Most people don't leave a return address, so before I open the envelope, I try to do some detective work to see if I can guess who it's from. A Northern Virginia postmark is most likely my family, New Yorkers are all friends and coworkers, cards from California are from Este's family. That narrows it down a bit. Then you have to see what sort of shape the card is in. If it was sealed with a big wet tongue, the guest probably has small children. When you hold it up to the light, you can get a gauge on the handwriting.

After I can no longer handle the anticipation, I take a letter opener and ever so slightly slip it under the fold and tear open. Then I take the card out and am instantly happy to find out that I guessed right, and then instantly sad that the person has checked an unequivocal Will Not Attend. But more often than not, the card is littered with happy faces and checks marked in the affirmative. "We are coming and arriving in Punta Cana on the 7th. Watch out!"

But the reason I'm writing you tonight is not to tell you how much I love opening RSVP cards and updating the guest list and documenting who's arriving when. No, I am writing because Este somehow loves this as much as I do. (But if you ask me, it's because he's noticed how much fun I'm having and wants to get in on the action. Like when someone's having ice cream and they are enjoying it so much you have to get some for yourself too.) Needless to say, this poses a serious threat to my RSVP card-opening ritual.

Every night for the past week, we've raced to get home and be the first to check mail. Este's even closed the lobby door on me so he could get to the mailbox first. We have damaged several cards and envelopes in the fight to be the one to open and see the contents. I have tried to pretend like I don't care, so maybe he'll lose interest but he's not buying it. One night, after arriving at the mailbox at the same time, all out of breath and panting, we open the mailbox to find nothing- not even a Papa John's coupon. It was the most depressing night of my life, but it offered a chance for us to talk and come to a compromise.

We made a deal: if one of us gets home first, he/she has to wait for the other to arrive. I am allowed one minute of detective work, Este gets to open the envelope, I get to pull the card out, and then we both look down at the same time.

Now I am getting nervous that the RSVP deadline is only 5 days away and it will all be over soon. Time is running out, and this 'compromise' is just not cutting it. I need to get my fix! So if you are reading this and want to help, please be a dear and cross out the address on the RSVP card and write: Penguin USA, 375 Hudson Street, New York. It'll come straight to my office and no one has to know a thing. I, for one, think it's high time we cut out the middle man. Who's with me?

Halloween in Retrospect

Prisoner of War and Hawaiian Girl (2000)




Vampire and Vampire Victim (2002)


Scary Skeleton Man and Gypsy (2004)




Little Red Riding Hood and Captain Jack Sparrow (2005)


Chef and Creepy Old Asian Man (2006)




Detective and Fairy (2008)




Flapper and Park Ranger (2009)

Bienvenido!

Hello There!

Thanks for checking out my blog. You are probably here because you just received your invitation and are curious to see what all the hype is about. Please make yourself at home. Show me some love and sign up to be a follower on the right of this post, leave comments, and come back every couple of weeks to make sure I haven't written anything bad about you. hehe

If you have not booked your tickets yet, please do so and kindly RSVP before November 10th. Make sure your passport does not expire before July 2010. If it does, you will not be allowed into the Dominican Republic and we will use your room as a storage place for wedding stuff and a place to hide from crazy family members. As an added incentive, I will send a free copy of the Fodor's Guide- Dominican Republic to three lucky families who are attending and who reply before November 10th.

Let the countdown begin! We have 2 months, 2 weeks and 5 days to go before haba haba ariba ariba andelay cha cha cha!

Si. Muy bueno.

Love,
Ava

School Daze

Now that Este's officially in graduate school mode with night classes and reams of reading, I am faced with hours of free time without a fiance to share it with. The first night by myself, I caught up with all the TV shows Este normally refuses to sit through (i.e. Gossip Girl and America's Next Top Model). The second night I did a girls only happy hour. In the interest of not going brain dead and not becoming a broke alcoholic, I decided to limit the amount of reality TV and drinking. So for the third night, I tried to be productive with my free time.

I went to the gym, went grocery shopping, made dinner, ate dinner, cleared the table, watched some TV, did my nails, trimmed the cat's nails, read, blogged, cleaned my room and picked my outfit for work, all in that order and with time to spare. It was the longest night of my life, and all the while Este was sitting at his desk engrossed in school work. "What are you reading about?" I asked him. Big mistake. He launched into a long lecture on the politics behind the Medicare Prescription Drug, Improvement, and Modernization Act which reminded me that I've been meaning to Swiffer the kitchen. Great idea!

Since I have at least two more years of this solitary life to go, I am making a list of enrichment activities for myself. Kat just started this amazing food blog on Iranian cooking called http://www.mimiskitchen.wordpress.com/, so I am definitely going to get my inner Julia Child on. I'm taking Spanish lessons to better flirt with the waitstaff at the Iberostar Bavaro. And I'm training Keesh to use the toilet and walk with a leash. Please don't hesitate to send me any of your suggestions, because...All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl. All work and no play make Ava a dull girl.

Power to the People

When I first heard that Ahmadinejad had won the Iranian elections in a landslide victory, and Iranians were challenging the results with nationwide protests, I didn't think much of it. It's no surprise that he would rig the election and that people are unhappy with him. But as the protests continued in larger numbers and became ever more violent, I started to follow the news more carefully along with the rest of the world.

As the days turned into weeks, the air seemed charged with possibility. Iranian households all over the world held their breaths. It's hard not to get caught up in too much wishful thinking. One can't help but think that the last time Iranians hit the streets in such a way, there was a total revolution with new leadership and government. Could it be that the people are repressed to such an extent that they would again risk life and limb for a change? The bloody footage all over the Internet suggests that this is so. And when I saw young 20-something Iranian women going up against fully-armed Basij militia for doing nothing more than voicing their discontent, I could not sit idol any longer.

I desperately want the experience of visiting a country where everyone looks familiar, speaks my Mother tongue, and shares my family's culture. When I went protesting with my mom in DC and New York, I felt a kinship with the crowd around me. We all have our reasons to fight for Iran. One of mine is for the opportunity to see the place my parents and grandparents once called home. That "free" Iran is a myth, but each person who protests against the current regime brings that myth closer to a reality- and that, however small, gives me hope.

*******
See if you can spot Arasb, Sepideh, Aryan, my Mom and Me in this video. (Hint: We appear around 3:29)

Goodbye 25

My twenty-fifth year was awesome, as it should be because my lucky number is five and five times five is 25. This was the year I resumed going to the gym, Este got into Columbia grad school, we set a date for the wedding, I started a new job and my first book there hit the bestseller list, I broke my habit of biting my nails (well, sort of), and we moved into a ballin' new apartment. There have been a lot of changes and for the first time since I moved to New York for college eight years ago, I can feel a new chapter beginning in my life. Bigger than a chapter--more like Part III. After all, 26 is 30 rounded up.

I can only hope that 26 is a better year than 25 and that each year gets better after that. So far, life is damn good and judging by the extent of partying during my birthday weekend, there are thousands (hundreds?) more good times to come. Cheers!


Pre-game in the apartment.


The party continues on the subway.




Partying it up at Alibi Lounge.


Whiffle ball at Central Park. Obviously too hungover to play an actual game, but at least we got a good team photo!

Complete Set

When I first got engaged there were two things I was most excited about: the cake tasting and the chance to hold a scanner and shoot everything in sight for a wedding registry shopping spree. I was practically giddy with excitement waking up this morning, knowing that today was the day to realize the second of my dreams.

The wedding registry lady equipped us with a scanner and a map of the store and then we were off! "This is what it must be like to be rich," I thought as we skipped our way through aisles of bed, baths and beyonds, scanning every single item that looked remotely like something grown up couples would have.

A 3-piece ice bucket set? Definitely. We like our drinks cold. Even outside the fridge.

A $100 waffle maker? Are you seriously asking me? SCAN!

And definitely scan the food scale. I want to be able to weigh everything I eat.

We requested a mahogany box to store the fancy flatware, and a bamboo tray to store the more casual flatware. And a heavy wooden block to support the 17-piece knife set. And that was all within the first five minutes.

After we scanned the 15th item, though, the giddiness started to wear off. As excited as we are for the 10-Cup Automatic Drip Krups Coffee Maker and the Deluxe Recycler Can, everything else is just stuff. And stuff that, when it comes down to it, we really don't need. I don't want Este and I to end up like the famous Collyer brothers, whose decaying bodies were found buried under more than a hundred tons of junk in their Fifth Avenue apartment.

I tried to convince myself that eventually, when we move into a house, we will need to fill it with all the items we requested and ideally we'd like those to be high quality and long lasting. But for now, we live in a Manhattan apartment with limited space and a limited budget. To ask my guests to get us two hundred-dollar Tempur-Pedic pillows in addition to the thousands of dollars they are spending to attend the wedding just seems plain wrong.

We decided to call it a day and head home. When we went to turn in our scanner, the sales lady squealed with delight and said that because we scanned $150-worth of Cuisinart, the company was going to send us a free measuring cup set. Do we want her to fill out the paperwork to receive the gift? Este looked at me with twinkling eyes. "Yes, please!"

It's a Boy!

There comes a point in life, between the ages of 25 and 30, when it seems like everyone is getting engaged and/or married. Seriously, Este and I have had a wedding to go to every four months in the past couple years, and now that we have our own wedding to plan it's like Wedding Overload. But I never would have guessed Baby Fever would rear its oversized head so soon. Don't get excited Mrs. Perla, I'm not talking about me and Este. It's everyone else! And I want to dedicate this post to saying congratulations to the future Moms and Dads of the next generation: Matt and Jean, Alison and Kurt, Parisa and Marco, Jennifer and Will, Shahab and Elaine-- I cannot wait to meet your little honey bunches of oats and squish their cheeks!

All this baby talk has got me thinking. Many people have come up to me, gushing about how excited they are to see what me and Este's babies are going to look like. They assume the Persian/Filipino combo makes for gorgeous offspring, although if you ask me, if they are not beautiful, they are going to be butt ugly. It's one or the other, so I rather not find out any time soon.

But out of curiosity, I went to a site called MakeMeBabies.com and uploaded a pic of me and one of Este. The site takes features from both 'parents' and combines them to create a composite of what your children would look like. You can even choose to morph with a celebrity. We ended up with a boy and chose to name him Este, Jr. after his handsome father. The baby has Este's forehead, but other than that, looks nothing like either of us. Not beautiful but not quite ugly either, just...different. While we will not be entering him in any Cutest Baby contest, a paternity test might not be such a bad idea...

http://www.makemebabies.com/viewbaby.php?bid=baby_13_512956

On another note- The National Geographic special, "The Human Family Tree" airs tonight at 9PM EST, and I finally renewed my passport! You should find out when yours expires. It could take up to 2 months to get a new passport, so now is the time to take care of it. Click here for more info: http://www.usps.com/passport/welcome.htm.

Ain't Nothin But Mammals

One day last summer, Este and I were happily making our way through a street fair in Astoria. We saw these huge cameras and lights set up and a banner for the National Geographic Channel, so we stopped to take a look.

They were conducting research for a study that claims that all humans descended from a group of African ancestors and about 60,000 years ago, started migrating out of Africa to different parts of the world. As they settled in different regions and climates, their characteristic features evolved to adapt to their environment, creating the Asian, European, and North American people, etc.

The Genographic Project is a five-year mission to better understand the migratory history of the human species. They took DNA samples from cheek cells from hundreds of thousands of participants around the world, including me and Este! Astoria is the most diverse community in the world, so they were hoping to get representatives from all parts.

It's weird to think that just by taking a cotton swab to your cheek, you can trace the origins of your family. We waited a few months for the results to come back, and sure enough, there was a little map with a clear red line from Africa to the Middle East for me. Apparently, my people were one of the laziest, because we traveled the least distance from Africa. No comment on the ones that didn't even bother to leave! Este's map had a line from Africa to China, which is interesting because he is an eighth Chinese. Now, if we had chosen to trace his mother's side, the line would most likely have led to Europe.

We were asked to meet in Astoria Park once again to share our reactions. They had all of us stand together in Africa and start walking to our respective origins. It was quite sad as I had to say goodbye to Este early and watch him walk all the way to "China." I was surrounded with all these Greeks and Italians and one Iraqi and about a quarter mile away, there stood Este with about 3 Asians, hopelessly waving a yellow flag at me. He was clearly not a part of the cool club, even in caveman days!

The special is called The Human Family Tree and it will air on the National Geographic Channel on August 30th at 9PM. Set your DVR, because Este and I were watching TV and he randomly started screaming, "That was me! That was me! Rewind it! Rewind it!" There is about .005 seconds where Este is in front of the camera waving a flag with 120 other people. Regretfully, I was behind a 4,000-pound gorilla and was blocked from the camera the entire time. I was pretty disappointed, but the next day we got an email from National Geographic, and lo and behold, Este and I are front and center, scrubbing our cheeks with cotton swabs. As usual, it's not the best picture of me, given the rabbit teeth and all. (Note to Self: Don't open your mouth too wide at the wedding.) But it's pretty flattering that they chose us to be the "face" of the promotional campaign. See for yourself! The pic looks photo-shopped, so I am going to give you a direct link to the site so you know it's real. We are the 3rd picture in the series. If you want, you can bring your Human Family Tree DVD to the wedding, and we will sign it for you- free of charge.
https://genographic.nationalgeographic.com/genographic/index.html

Move It or Lose It

Moving Day is tomorrow, and most of our stuff is packed away in boxes lining the living room walls. I look at this mighty fortress of cardboard with pride, because it took us 3 full weeks of blood, sweat and tears to get to this point.

I learned some new things about Este during this time, which I will list below in order of importance.

1. Este Does Not Like to Procrastinate
He thrives on errands. If there is a bill to pay or if we're running low on toilet paper, he makes it his immediate priority. I, on the other hand, like to take a few days to really get to know the task and like to do things only when it becomes urgent (i.e. resorting to Kleenex when out of toilet paper, then resorting to napkins when out of Kleenex). I like deadlines and do well at the last minute, so if this move were up to me, we'd still have cups and plates to drink and eat from.

2. He is a Moving Nazi
Because of Trait #1, not a second was wasted. We packed all weekends and every night. If I took a break to sit down, Este would drag me back up again and put me to work. Apparently, he would say he's not hungry to delay our dinner time because, and I quote, "You work better when you have food as an incentive."

Este learned a new thing about me too. While I was taking a few moments to catch my breath on the couch and relax after a grueling 20 minutes of hard-core packing, he looked at me all forlorn and disappointed and said, "So you're never going to be the kind of girl to run a marathon, huh?"

3. Este is a Pack Rat
He literally has hundreds of t-shirts, the kind that you buy at souvenir shops. He never wears these but refuses to donate or throw them away. I tried to get him to divide the clothes into a keep pile and a trash pile, but he ended up with three separate piles: those that are meaningful, those that are too nice to get dirty, and those that are good for painting/yard work. Despite the fact that we don't have a yard and don't plan to paint, we kept all the shirts.

One day, I come across a tin box in one of his drawers. Este immediately snatches it from me and packs it away.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
I grab the box. He grabs it from me. We have a tug of war.
"Este, what is in here?"
"NOTHING!" He has a look of sheer terror in his eyes, and I start to get scared too. With deep breaths, I say, "I'm not going to be mad. Whatever is in here-- we can get through it. Just let me see what's in the box."
I slowly open the box, expecting oh I don't know...love letters to another girl...dirty magazines...drugs... anything but what was actually in the box:
Hundreds of ball point pens.

Mosquitoes, Roaches and Flies, Oh My!

We are not allowed to put an AC unit in one of the bedroom windows, because we can't block the fire escape, so we keep the window open a crack to create a cool cross breeze in hopes that some air from the AC in the living room will also make it through. This has been the set up for a couple years now, and it has worked out well. Lately, however, I wake up in the middle of the night with an intense itch up and down my legs. Half awake and half asleep, I scratch and scratch until I no longer care and pass out with exhaustion. In the morning, I ask Este if he got any bug bites during the night and am amazed to find out that he is unscathed and that mine have disappeared completely. Not even a red spot to indicate that the itchy hell was real. I resolved myself to the fact that I was probably going insane.

The other night, I hear Este call from the kitchen: "Babe? Keesh is acting really weird. Hey, Keesh. What are you looking at? What is it?" This- followed by a high-pitched wheezing sound coming from the future man of the house. I run to the kitchen and find the cat frozen in place and staring at a spot on the wall. Este, a few feet back, with his face scrunched up in a painful expression and still wheezing with fright. On the wall in front of them was the biggest cockroach I have ever seen, rubbing its antennas together. I scream, the cat jumps up and bolts for the bedroom, and we take refuge on top of the couch.
"Este, you can't let this thing get away. You have to kill it, tonight," I tell him.
"But it's got wings!"
I'm very proud that Este did muster enough courage to squash the 2-pound cockroach, a.k.a. the creature from the Black Lagoon, a.k.a. Lucifer's offspring. But little did we know, our night was just beginning.

2:30AM: Este jumps out of bed. "Ahhhh! Mosquitoes are eating me alive!" It was like music to my ears. I was not the only one on the menu! We turn on the lights and take stock of the place. Sure enough, there are two mosquitoes flitting about. But we are groggy and the little black bodies are hard to follow. Este takes a few swats with a rolled up newspaper and declares the mission accomplished.

3:00AM: "#*$%@!!!!!!"
It was a full on war. Us against the bugs of Astoria. I try to think of a combat strategy. "Este, we need a 360 degree formation."
"Roger that."
Armed with a newspaper and a pillow, we stand back-to-back and start turning around in a circle, so we can both fight and keep look out at the same time. It was awesome. But unfortunately, no dead mosquitoes.

Now we have abandoned the offensive strategy and focus on defensive measures: long johns and mosquito repellent. Este's reasoning being that the mosquitoes will die if we can starve them to death, but it seems that the two-week human feast has left the bugs with enough nutrition to last them a long time. And the window that we use for fresh air and cool breezes? It is closed.
God, I can't wait to move!

Goldilocks and the 3 Apartments

This is my fourth apartment hunt in New York, and with the economy and housing market the way that it is, I have been looking forward to reaping the benefits for some time now. Housing prices are falling and previously unaffordable neighborhoods are now instantly within our budget. Este and I found ourselves dreaming of a 3 bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side with stainless steel kitchen appliances, a washer/dryer, with large closet space and a balcony all for under $2000 a month. I know, I know, a little ridiculous but we wanted to see how much we could get for the cheapest possible rent.

These are desparate times for brokers. Every single one I met with had at least 4 apartments to show. In the past, the broker would be half an hour late to show a single apartment. There'd be at least 3 other groups interested in the place. After we were given a brief tour, the broker would turn around and ask who wanted to fill out an application, the first person to raise his/her hand would get the apartment and the rest would go home feeling used and dejected. Now, they start drooling as soon as they find out you have a job.

So--with the ball in the renter's court, we set out to find the perfect apartment, the apartment where I will be a wife and Este will be a husband and we will be married (hopefully to each other). Maybe it's because we had so many choices or because our expectations were too high, but whatever it was, we could not make a decision on anything. One apartment was too big (not kidding), one was way too small (not surprising), one had the stainless steel appliances but was missing windows, and one had an elevator but no living room. As we realized that space was more important than anything else, the trendy neighborhoods turned into the don't-make-eye-contact neighborhoods. We even considered a luxury hi-rise apartment in Harlem because there was a hospital nearby. (So what if the neighborhood is bad, if one of us gets shot, at least we know where to go!)

It felt like serial dating. We'd meet with different brokers every night, lead them on into thinking we really liked the apartment, then not return any of their phone calls after changing our minds. We'd meet with brokers at the same time or back-to-back until one of them would suspect there's another person in the picture. Then we'd have The Talk. "It's not you, you were great. We're just really indecisive. Can we still be friends?"

We finally found a place that meets most of our requirements and is within our budget and (don't worry, Mom) the neighborhood is safe. The new landlord has already taken our application fee and security deposit, so there's no way we can change our minds now without it getting ugly. And it's a good thing too, because brokers all across Manhattan have blacklisted this Couple from Hell.

The White Party

On the Fourth of July, my parents threw an out-of-this-world engagement party at our lake house in Deep Creek Lake, MD. You know a party is amazing when a week goes by and you are still smiling with the good memories. I still can't believe how ridiculously fun it was and how much work went into making it happen. A special shout out to my dad and mom who worked their party-throwing magic; DJ Aria for spinning the beats while hopelessly wasted; Javad for sharing his Noon o Kabab restaurant secrets and providing the food; to Mojgan for the 100 delicious cupcakes; to Siamak and Anna for the signage; Christiane and Fred for letting us use your industrial-sized kitchen to seeq the kebab and chop the vegetables; to Mehran and Kamiar for dealing with the whole grilling the goat thing; to Javad and Sharzad for letting random people sleep in your house; to Goli for being the on site photographer, to Kelly for doing my make up and Kat for straightening my hair and the list goes on....By the night of the party, the house was set up like a wedding and I felt like a bride. So now, without further ado for those of you who missed this, I present Ava and Este's Engagement Party 2009 in pictures:

Setting Up:
Este was recruited to help chop about 100 very large onions. No cry babies here!


While I was sent to the butcher shop to ground 40 pounds of meat...






Why didn't we just have the wedding? My parents even bought a canoe just so they could fill it with ice and make it a salad bar. Sigh...






Couldn't wait to eat this goat! His name was Sam.


Bride-to-Be and Groom-to-Be are looking good in red! All others blended in the background with white. haha!







Is this Lili's husband?


NO. Is this Lili's husband?
No, again.


THERE he is!!!


More good times...

OHMMMM....

This past week has been crazy for me and Este. Our lease is up at the end of July, so we've been running around Manhattan, trying to find a decent-sized apartment that won't break the bank. An impossible mission, in other words. And invitations have yet to be sent out, so if you received a Save the Date, just assume you are invited. Thanks. And my parents are throwing an engagement party this Fourth of July that will rival the actual wedding, which leads me to question the point of throwing the wedding in the first place. Ay yi yi!

When my life gets stressful like this, I think back to my meditation session with UCLA psychiatrist and bestselling author Dr. Judith Orloff. She was in the Random House office one day recording an interview with Lifetime TV. They needed a stressed out person to use as an example, and of course, I volunteered. Bridezilla moments aside, I am very laid back, so it was pretty fun pretending to be in need of psychiatric help.

For about half an hour, I talked on and on about planning a wedding and trying to make everyone happy and wanting everything to be perfect, etc. etc. It was like a free therapy session, and at the end, she asked me to close my eyes and meditate. We were sitting in the middle of the reception area, so as I tried to relax, I could hear all these people stop and watch. I thought I was doing a pretty good job faking, until I saw the video. There's no better way to say it--I look constipated, and it doesn't help that they picked the most bloated picture of me to tag to the video! The only saving grace is that they spelled my name wrong, so people searching my name online won't be able to find it. This stays between you and me...

So, without further ado, I present my exclusive national television debut. Enjoy!
http://healthcorner.walgreens.com/display/2355.htm

The Persian Ceremony

Este and I recently went to the beautiful wedding of Hossein and Kat Golesorkhi. As we were witnessing the Persian ceremony, I realized that I had no idea what the guy was saying or what any of the objects in front of the bride and groom symbolized. Since we will be having our own Persian portion of the wedding, I thought it would be good for all the Iranian guests under 30 and all the non-Iranian guests to get a quick briefing before the special day.

As expected, the full explanation is pretty boring, so I'm not going to go over everything here, but for those of you who are especially curious, you can click this link: http://www.farsinet.com/persian_wedding/.

Here are some highlights:
The bride and groom sit in front of a spread called The Sofreh Aghd, which is set on the Eastern side of the room, so the bride and groom are facing The Light.

In front of them sits about a dozen different objects. Most notably, a Mirror (of fate) and two Candelabras (representing the bride and groom and brightness in their future) one on either side of the mirror. Once the bride sits beside the bridegroom she removes her veil and the first thing that the bridegroom sees in the mirror should be the reflection of his wife-to-be.

A scarf or shawl made out of silk is held over the bride and bridegroom's head throughout the ceremony by various happily married female relatives. These women take turns grinding two sugar cones above the bride and bridegroom's head (over the scarf held above their heads) throughout the ceremony to shower them in sugar (symbolizing sweetness and happiness).

A copy of the couple's Holy Book is placed on the spread. For Christian couples, it would be the Bible, for Zorastians Avesta, for Muslims Qur'an, .... This symbolizes God's blessing for the couple. Some couples opt to use a poetry book such as Khayyam's poetry collection or Hafiz poetry collection.

And here is my absolute favorite part! (drumroll)
A needle and thread are sewed into the corner of the shawl held over the couple's head to figuratively sew up the mother-in-law's lips from speaking unpleasant words to the bride! haha

Editor's Note: My mother wants to make clear that this is a very old fashioned custom and we will not be doing this for our ceremony. We love you, Mrs. Perla! :-)

Say Maybe to the Dress

Now that the Save the Dates are out, my next priority is finding a wedding dress. So far I have visited two bridal salons. The first being the famous Kleinfeld Bridal in New York. The same place where that TLC show, Say Yes to the Dress is filmed. My mom couldn't make it, so it was just me and two bridesmaids, Mimi and Heidi.

Kleinfeld claims to have the largest selection of wedding dresses in the world, and I had no trouble believing that. There were all kinds of gowns lined up along the walls from all different designers and price points. Having no clear idea of how I want to look, I felt overwhelmed with all the choices. Skirts can be Ball Gown style, Empire Waist, A-line, Sheath, Mermaid. Necklines are either Jewel, Scoop, Strapless, Queen Anne, Sweetheart, Off the Shoulder, and the list goes on and on. No wonder the sales lady laughed when I said "A wedding dress?" when she asked me what I was looking for.

I tried on about 6 dresses and immediately fell in love with two of them. The problem was that my mom was not there to make the final approval, and we were told the dress would be gone after the weekend. As I stayed in the dress, biting my nails and trying to figure out how to get out of the store without the sales lady biting my head off, I noticed my bridesmaids increasingly turning into the angel and devil on my shoulders.

Heidi: "Ava, you do not want to rush into any decisions. If you don't know, then just tell them we'll come back. I'm sure you can find a similar dress elsewhere."
Mimi: "If you know you love the dress, then just get it. What's the worst that can happen if you just put the deposit on your credit card? Will your mom seriously be upset? You look so good!"

I was able to escape with my head and savings intact. Which is a good thing, because upsetting my mom is far worse than annoying a pushy Kleinfeld sales woman.

We finally had a chance to go together this past weekend, along with my other two bridesmaids, Sara and Tiba. We visited Hannelore's in Old Town Alexandria. A much smaller venue, but the funny thing was that my Kleinfeld dress was on display right in front of us as we walked in. A one-of-a-kind dress, my ass!

Flower Girl Auditions

**Attention All Guests with Cute Little Girls in the Family**

With so many adorable children on the guest list, Este and I are having a very hard time figuring out who the flower girls should be. So, we have decided to put the pressure back on the families and have them work for the honor by competing against each other. Interested contestants should be under 10 years of age, no more than 4.5 feet tall, ringlets and big, pouty eyes are a plus. Must be able to walk in a straight line and distribute rose petals in an even manner.

We will NOT tolerate: cry babies, talking machines or tattle tales.

For the talent portion of the competition, we are looking for a girl who can wow us. Este and I watch American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent, Britain's Got Talent, and America's Funniest Home Videos, so we have seen just about everything and are not impressed easily. I've included the video below so you have a better idea of what we are looking for. I repeat, this is not a competition for sissies.


Wonder Baby !! - Click here for the funniest movie of the week

Would You Like Fries With That?

For lunch today I had a taco bowl complete with beans, corn, salsa, sour cream, guacamole, pulled chipotle chicken, lettuce, and tomato all stuffed into a delicious, greasy taco shell/bowl.

This was not at all my intention. With a beach wedding coming up, I have been trying to be good about going to the gym and eating healthy meals. Every day for lunch, I go down to the Random House cafeteria and avoid the pizza/pasta station, the BBQ chicken, the grill and fried food section and make a beeline for the salad bar or sandwich station. It is so hard to settle for a cold, tasteless cold cut sandwich when my stomach is growling for something substantive, like a hot dog with chili cheese fries. But, I tell myself, it will all pay off when I look damn good for my wedding.

I get home around 6 starved half to death and raid the fridge for a healthy snack to hold me until dinner. Hummus and carrots it is. I put the snacks in front of Este, and he holds his taut belly and says that he can't even look at the food, he's so full. Really? What did you have for lunch today?

I really wish I hadn't asked that question. Because the answer was Popeye's. A 9-piece mixed chicken meal with two biscuits and mashed potatoes. Do you know what he had for lunch yesterday? Chicken and rice with beans at the Dominican restaurant around the corner. The day before? McDonald's. The day before that? A Philly cheese steak with potato wedges.

Some people get married quickly because the bride is already pregnant. In our case, we need to get married before the groom starts to show. At the rate he's going, Este will be about 8 months pregnant by the time we get married. Lovely.

So I decided to skip the salad today and go ahead and treat myself to the taco bowl. Call it sympathy cravings.

Hallelujah!

We've found a cheaper hotel! I emailed my travel agent today to tell her that guests were concerned about the prices to stay at the Iberostar Bavaro, and she has offered another option at a lower price point. If the Bavaro is too costly for you, please consider staying at the Iberostar Punta Cana (a sister hotel to the Bavaro). See, you couldn't get out of coming that easily!

The only downside is that you can only come to the Bavaro for the wedding. On the other hand, Bavaro guests can join you any time at the Punta Cana. There are shuttles that run between all the Iberostar resorts. We'll just have to coordinate where we're meeting and when. I've pasted rates below, and we'll get this up on the site asap.

For a double:
3nights $384pp
4nights $504pp
5nights $624pp
6nights $744pp
7nights $864pp

Animal House

Meshky, Phantom, Oso, Muffin, Mateo, Keeshmeesh, Lemu, Barfie, Coda, Rocky, Oscar. What's going to happen to all these pets when everyone is vacationing away in the Dominican Republic?? Maybe we should reserve some rooms in a pet hotel just for our animals. They know howto party just as well as we do, so I'm sure they would all either kill each other or get kicked out in a matter of hours.

Another option would be to bring our pets with us. I heard about a new pet airline on NPR this morning. You can listen to the segment here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10403814. The seats have been designed to serve as pet carriers, so pets can fly in style in the plane, rather than in the cargo. Dogs are walked before the flight, and each pet has its own 'pet' attendant during the trip to feed it and make sure it's comfortable. Hilarious!

It's a good thing that Keeshmeesh is not spoiled, or she would expect such royal treatment from us. Her toys consist of balled up wads of paper, Ginger Ale boxes, and milk caps. We will just leave several bowls of water and food for her and hope that she doesn't die of heat exhaustion while we are away...

Let me know what you are doing with your little monster. Maybe we can get a package deal with Keesh? She is very sweet and loves to give massages!

Recession Special?

Our travel agent released January 2010 resort rates today, and I was disappointed to see how expensive resorts are charging for a weekend stay. In deciding to have a destination wedding, Este and I were well aware that it was going to be very difficult for all our friends and family to attend. The least we could do was pick a place that was reasonably priced. Now we know for a fact that not only is it going to be difficult getting there, but the finances might be too much for some guests to manage.

Unfortunately, January is peak season, and as much as I tried negotiating with various travel agents, this is the best deal we are going to get. I have no hard feelings against anyone who has to opt out of the wedding festivities because of the cost. In the end, this is our dream and when you only get one chance to make it happen, why not go for it? Our friends and family will be dearly missed, but there will be many more occasions to celebrate and get together. And we always have Deep Creek!

Magic Guest List

Things are finally back on track! We’ve set a date and booked the wedding. The resort is picked. Save the Date cards have been designed and are being printed. The website is up. All I need to do is finish collecting mailing addresses.

An efficient bride isn’t afraid to delegate the work, and one thing I have been more than happy to make someone else’s problem is getting all the guest mailing addresses. The family friends have been divided among the five sisters and Este’s family is in charge of the Perla clan. For the most part, everyone has ignored my inquiries, so if you expect an invite and are especially close to the Yeganeh family, for example, chances are Lili did not do her homework in getting your address to me. Sorry!

Then there’s the other extreme... The other day I emailed my mom with a list of the families I still need information for. She promptly emailed me back a couple days later with a long, single spaced list of addresses. The names all blended together, but I spaced out the text and added each address into the database one at a time. I guess my mom was hoping I would just copy and paste, because as I added the information, I noticed new names I had never seen before. Strange... I don’t remember having Mr. and Mrs. So and So on the original list....Interesting.... I thought Ms. This and That moved.

I decided to call my mom and see what the deal was with the new names. Not surprisingly, she pretended she had no idea what I was talking about. We know about 5 different Faribas, 10 different Mozhgons, 7 different Mehrans, 20 different Mitras, 3 different Shirins, 5 different Nooshins, 4 Saras, etc. etc. So you can imagine how many times I had one person in mind, and my mom was thinking of someone completely different. Oh well... the bottom line is the more, the merrier and people with popular names get invited to more parties! I am changing my name to Bob.