See You at the Beach!

It's officially crunch time as far as wedding planning goes, and I am filled with nervous excitement. Even if the wedding is a complete disaster, I know we will have a great time. With 105 of my closest friends and family vacationing with me in the Dominican Republic, what more could I ask for? This is going to be the trip of a lifetime!

My flight leaves at 9am tomorrow morning, and my mind is racing with all the things I learned when I last made the trip in November. Here are some helpful tips as you pack and get ready:

1. Bring a snack with you. The airlines don't serve any food and the airport food is mucho expensivo. The best free drink you can get on the flight is the Bloody Mary Mix. The best snack are the potato chips. They are only $4 and they pack a lot in each tube.

2. You will have to pay a $10 fee for a Visa when you get into the DR. Make sure you bring exact change.

3. Bring lots of singles for tipping! The service is very impressive and you will feel like a high roller.

4. You have to wear a bright orange bracelet at all times at the resort. If this bothers you, bring a nice bracelet to cover the orange for wedding pictures!

5. Men-- you will not be admitted to any of the resort restaurants without long pants. Make sure to pack a pair of kakhis and/or jeans.

6. Don't forget your passport!

7. DO NOT bring any wedding gifts with you to the DR!

The next time I write in my blog, the wedding will be in the past and this trip will be a memory. Let's take advantage of every moment together. I will be waiting for you on the beach!

Mini Freak Out

This is the beginning of my three week vacation from work and I can't help but think about my "home" routine which has been the same ever since I left for college. Being a total bum, getting my mom to cook all my favorite foods, complaining that the house is too cold, and yelling for an extra blanket when I know my parents are already in bed. I've been thinking: when I get married, can I still be a bum when I come home or do I have to help my parents with the cooking and cleaning? Can a married woman still crawl into bed with her parents in the morning? Or stay up late reminiscing with her little brother? More importantly, can I still laugh at fart jokes? Or be the one to start them? Just a thought.

What Happens at Bridal Showers

Now I know why so many girls love wedding planning and being engaged. It's like every day is your birthday! Everyone is constantly congratulating you and wishing you well. There are gifts up the wazoo and lots of champagne and celebrations. I've never had so much fun!

I've been especially spoiled by my bridesmaids. Sara and Tiba recently hosted a bridal shower for me, and they went all out with the decor, food, drinks, and games. Other than the general awkwardness of opening boxes of lingerie in front of Este's mom, the party was a hit and I was laughing the entire time. How much fun can 40 women have on a Saturday afternoon, you ask?

Well, for one thing, the games were insane. My favorite was the Get-the-Chili-Pepper-in-the-Bottle game. You have to admire the coordination and concentration required for this one. My aunt Nazanin (pictured here) was a contender, but Este's mom smashed the competition with her chili pepper skills, getting it in the bottle in less than 60 seconds!

Then there was the Last Chance to Kiss Este game. Newly engaged and blindfolded Tanaz Shahrzad walked up to my guy with confidence and surprised us all (mainly Sara) with her smooching prowess. Yeah...I'm going to keep an eye on that one...

With competitive tensions running high, we were all afraid to see what MC Tiba would ask of us next. Sitting in a circle, we had to pass around a teddy bear and kiss a body part on the bear. Harmless, right? BUT THEN Tiba took away the bear and said we had to kiss the person next to us on the same part we kissed the bear. And this is how it came to be. Full girl-on-girl action between Mrs. Perla and my grandma, who said she'd kiss the bear on the lips! Poor Mrs. Perla didn't know what hit her when my grandma grabbed her by the ears and pulled her into a big smackeroo. It was like a game of spin the bottle that had gone horribly wrong. And when it was over, Mrs. Perla, still dazed from what had just transpired, turned to me and had to kiss my feet! (To be nice, I smelled each one first and gave her the least stinky of the two.)

Before the shower, Este made a special request for me to look after his mom and make sure she has a good time. If only he knew...

Head Trips

When asked, "What does Ava like to do on the weekends?" as part of a survey at my bridal shower, 99% of guests answered: Sleep. I am not embarrassed to admit that this is indeed one of my most cherished hobbies. It's not just the chance to relax and replenish after a hard day's work, it's also a portal to limitless adventure. As you know, I read a lot and because of this, my dreams are quite involved with complex plots and multi-color dreamscapes. Sometimes I even have the ability to control my actions. For example, about a quarter of the way into the dream, I'll realize that the circumstances are too absurd to be real, so I'll go crazy and do things I wouldn't normally do in real life. My favorite was the time I played Quidditch with Harry Potter.

Lately though, instead of my usual action-packed exploits, I've been the victim of several nightmares having to do with the wedding. In one, I am walking down the aisle when I realize that I've forgotten to shower, brush my teeth, wear deordorant, do my hair or makeup. In another, I dream that the Dominican Republic is a total crap hole with glass littered all over the beach and beggars grabbing at your clothes. I also dreamed that we got Este's name wrong on the invitation. I was marrying a "Miguel" instead.

A new theory about the evolutionary function of nightmares is that the brain exposes you to scary scenarios during your sleep, so that the repeated experience desensitizes you, making you better able to handle your fear should it come true. So with images of crackheads and drug dealers fresh in my mind, I boarded the plane to the DR last week, hoping with all my heart that I wouldn't have to test my crisis coping mechanisms.

My parents and I had a wonderful time and were very happy with the resort. We met with the wedding coordinator, florist, DJ, head chef, and hotel manager to talk about how we could make the wedding the best that it could be, and I hope that you like what we have planned. In the interest of not creating too much hype, I am not going to tell you how good the food was or how your glass is never empty, but I will say that the sand was smooth and instead of beggars on the beach, there were topless European women. (If the wedding does not turn out to be all that I dreamed, then at least I'll know Este will be happy.)

Now all I dream about is the delicious feast that awaits America tomorrow night.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! and more importantly, Sweet Dreams!

And the winner is...

Thanks to everyone who RSVP'd on time! As promised, three lucky guests will receive a copy of the Fodor's Guide to the Dominican Republic. Drum roll please...

The first name out of the drawing is -- Justin KWONG! Come on up Justin!

Second is the lovely Foroughi Family.

And last but not least are the newlyweds, Kat and Hossein Golesorkhi, who will be spending their honeymoon in the DR with us. Let's have a nice round of applause for our winners and future tour guides!

Now on to more serious matters. I saw a very disturbing video on YouTube regarding airport security cameras. I want to post it here to give you fair warning. Stay away from beans before your flight!

Répondez, S'il Vous Plaît

Getting the invitations out in a timely manner was probably one of the more stressful aspects of wedding planning, but every anxious moment was worth it, because nothing is better than receiving the RSVP card. Every time I check the mailbox, there is a stack of little surprises waiting for me. Most people don't leave a return address, so before I open the envelope, I try to do some detective work to see if I can guess who it's from. A Northern Virginia postmark is most likely my family, New Yorkers are all friends and coworkers, cards from California are from Este's family. That narrows it down a bit. Then you have to see what sort of shape the card is in. If it was sealed with a big wet tongue, the guest probably has small children. When you hold it up to the light, you can get a gauge on the handwriting.

After I can no longer handle the anticipation, I take a letter opener and ever so slightly slip it under the fold and tear open. Then I take the card out and am instantly happy to find out that I guessed right, and then instantly sad that the person has checked an unequivocal Will Not Attend. But more often than not, the card is littered with happy faces and checks marked in the affirmative. "We are coming and arriving in Punta Cana on the 7th. Watch out!"

But the reason I'm writing you tonight is not to tell you how much I love opening RSVP cards and updating the guest list and documenting who's arriving when. No, I am writing because Este somehow loves this as much as I do. (But if you ask me, it's because he's noticed how much fun I'm having and wants to get in on the action. Like when someone's having ice cream and they are enjoying it so much you have to get some for yourself too.) Needless to say, this poses a serious threat to my RSVP card-opening ritual.

Every night for the past week, we've raced to get home and be the first to check mail. Este's even closed the lobby door on me so he could get to the mailbox first. We have damaged several cards and envelopes in the fight to be the one to open and see the contents. I have tried to pretend like I don't care, so maybe he'll lose interest but he's not buying it. One night, after arriving at the mailbox at the same time, all out of breath and panting, we open the mailbox to find nothing- not even a Papa John's coupon. It was the most depressing night of my life, but it offered a chance for us to talk and come to a compromise.

We made a deal: if one of us gets home first, he/she has to wait for the other to arrive. I am allowed one minute of detective work, Este gets to open the envelope, I get to pull the card out, and then we both look down at the same time.

Now I am getting nervous that the RSVP deadline is only 5 days away and it will all be over soon. Time is running out, and this 'compromise' is just not cutting it. I need to get my fix! So if you are reading this and want to help, please be a dear and cross out the address on the RSVP card and write: Penguin USA, 375 Hudson Street, New York. It'll come straight to my office and no one has to know a thing. I, for one, think it's high time we cut out the middle man. Who's with me?

Halloween in Retrospect

Prisoner of War and Hawaiian Girl (2000)




Vampire and Vampire Victim (2002)


Scary Skeleton Man and Gypsy (2004)




Little Red Riding Hood and Captain Jack Sparrow (2005)


Chef and Creepy Old Asian Man (2006)




Detective and Fairy (2008)




Flapper and Park Ranger (2009)