Head Trips

When asked, "What does Ava like to do on the weekends?" as part of a survey at my bridal shower, 99% of guests answered: Sleep. I am not embarrassed to admit that this is indeed one of my most cherished hobbies. It's not just the chance to relax and replenish after a hard day's work, it's also a portal to limitless adventure. As you know, I read a lot and because of this, my dreams are quite involved with complex plots and multi-color dreamscapes. Sometimes I even have the ability to control my actions. For example, about a quarter of the way into the dream, I'll realize that the circumstances are too absurd to be real, so I'll go crazy and do things I wouldn't normally do in real life. My favorite was the time I played Quidditch with Harry Potter.

Lately though, instead of my usual action-packed exploits, I've been the victim of several nightmares having to do with the wedding. In one, I am walking down the aisle when I realize that I've forgotten to shower, brush my teeth, wear deordorant, do my hair or makeup. In another, I dream that the Dominican Republic is a total crap hole with glass littered all over the beach and beggars grabbing at your clothes. I also dreamed that we got Este's name wrong on the invitation. I was marrying a "Miguel" instead.

A new theory about the evolutionary function of nightmares is that the brain exposes you to scary scenarios during your sleep, so that the repeated experience desensitizes you, making you better able to handle your fear should it come true. So with images of crackheads and drug dealers fresh in my mind, I boarded the plane to the DR last week, hoping with all my heart that I wouldn't have to test my crisis coping mechanisms.

My parents and I had a wonderful time and were very happy with the resort. We met with the wedding coordinator, florist, DJ, head chef, and hotel manager to talk about how we could make the wedding the best that it could be, and I hope that you like what we have planned. In the interest of not creating too much hype, I am not going to tell you how good the food was or how your glass is never empty, but I will say that the sand was smooth and instead of beggars on the beach, there were topless European women. (If the wedding does not turn out to be all that I dreamed, then at least I'll know Este will be happy.)

Now all I dream about is the delicious feast that awaits America tomorrow night.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! and more importantly, Sweet Dreams!

And the winner is...

Thanks to everyone who RSVP'd on time! As promised, three lucky guests will receive a copy of the Fodor's Guide to the Dominican Republic. Drum roll please...

The first name out of the drawing is -- Justin KWONG! Come on up Justin!

Second is the lovely Foroughi Family.

And last but not least are the newlyweds, Kat and Hossein Golesorkhi, who will be spending their honeymoon in the DR with us. Let's have a nice round of applause for our winners and future tour guides!

Now on to more serious matters. I saw a very disturbing video on YouTube regarding airport security cameras. I want to post it here to give you fair warning. Stay away from beans before your flight!

Répondez, S'il Vous Plaît

Getting the invitations out in a timely manner was probably one of the more stressful aspects of wedding planning, but every anxious moment was worth it, because nothing is better than receiving the RSVP card. Every time I check the mailbox, there is a stack of little surprises waiting for me. Most people don't leave a return address, so before I open the envelope, I try to do some detective work to see if I can guess who it's from. A Northern Virginia postmark is most likely my family, New Yorkers are all friends and coworkers, cards from California are from Este's family. That narrows it down a bit. Then you have to see what sort of shape the card is in. If it was sealed with a big wet tongue, the guest probably has small children. When you hold it up to the light, you can get a gauge on the handwriting.

After I can no longer handle the anticipation, I take a letter opener and ever so slightly slip it under the fold and tear open. Then I take the card out and am instantly happy to find out that I guessed right, and then instantly sad that the person has checked an unequivocal Will Not Attend. But more often than not, the card is littered with happy faces and checks marked in the affirmative. "We are coming and arriving in Punta Cana on the 7th. Watch out!"

But the reason I'm writing you tonight is not to tell you how much I love opening RSVP cards and updating the guest list and documenting who's arriving when. No, I am writing because Este somehow loves this as much as I do. (But if you ask me, it's because he's noticed how much fun I'm having and wants to get in on the action. Like when someone's having ice cream and they are enjoying it so much you have to get some for yourself too.) Needless to say, this poses a serious threat to my RSVP card-opening ritual.

Every night for the past week, we've raced to get home and be the first to check mail. Este's even closed the lobby door on me so he could get to the mailbox first. We have damaged several cards and envelopes in the fight to be the one to open and see the contents. I have tried to pretend like I don't care, so maybe he'll lose interest but he's not buying it. One night, after arriving at the mailbox at the same time, all out of breath and panting, we open the mailbox to find nothing- not even a Papa John's coupon. It was the most depressing night of my life, but it offered a chance for us to talk and come to a compromise.

We made a deal: if one of us gets home first, he/she has to wait for the other to arrive. I am allowed one minute of detective work, Este gets to open the envelope, I get to pull the card out, and then we both look down at the same time.

Now I am getting nervous that the RSVP deadline is only 5 days away and it will all be over soon. Time is running out, and this 'compromise' is just not cutting it. I need to get my fix! So if you are reading this and want to help, please be a dear and cross out the address on the RSVP card and write: Penguin USA, 375 Hudson Street, New York. It'll come straight to my office and no one has to know a thing. I, for one, think it's high time we cut out the middle man. Who's with me?

Halloween in Retrospect

Prisoner of War and Hawaiian Girl (2000)




Vampire and Vampire Victim (2002)


Scary Skeleton Man and Gypsy (2004)




Little Red Riding Hood and Captain Jack Sparrow (2005)


Chef and Creepy Old Asian Man (2006)




Detective and Fairy (2008)




Flapper and Park Ranger (2009)